So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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