margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
cat food counts as protein by the way
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
