The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
