Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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