Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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