they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
