I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
