She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
