I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
