I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it was like eating out sand paper
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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