Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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