I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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