Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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