the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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