Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
