Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
