yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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