The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
