you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
