Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
