Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
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I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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