Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?