we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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