i don't like sucking hair
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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