I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
