Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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