That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
