Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
no, he came in my armpit
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
