then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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