My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
