i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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