Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
