also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
