You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
