I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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