I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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