Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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