i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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