I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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