Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Someone signed my nipple.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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