We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
