I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
