I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
