why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
