i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
honey bunches of taint.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
