Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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