The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
