i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
