btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
