i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
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