Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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