Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
