break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
