I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
