Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
