Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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