Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
