oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
