I skipped work to stalk him.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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