Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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