When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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