Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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