Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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