So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize