my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize