she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
